Money Saving Ways to Make it Through the Holiday Season
copyright Katharine Leis 2003
Oh Christmas, it’s Christmas Season again. Time to go from broke to destitute, splurging and making little crease lines in the credit cards just to make people put more stuff in their closets. This year, why not beat the holiday clam and saved your pennies. If the entire country did this, the economy would go straight down the tubes, so don’t tell anyone, but keep this our festive little secret. Now let’s begin with the one golden rule of the holidays: do not, under ANY circumstances throw a Christmas party.
Below you will find more than enough reasons why you should lock your door to the scarf-adorning crowd until well into January…
1. “The Pot Luck”
Mistake number one (that is why it is listed first). Think you can save money by throwing one of these, smartypants? Well, maybe, but you’ll end up with 23 people angry at you in the process. If you cheap out in such an obvious way by having a pot luck, everyone will bring those damm green beans with almonds and know that it is all your fault they have gas for the next week. This, by the way, is the reason that malls have that funky odor come December 12th.
2. “The Carpets…think of the poor little carpets!”
Christmas parties start with the expenses even before they begin. You have to get the carpets cleaned so no one will know of the squalor that you usually find perfectly acceptable. Then the beasts track their muddy shoes all over the place and you have to again have the carpets cleaned the day after the party. Wouldn’t it be easier just to avoid all of that?
3. “Go on, take the cookie and run”
Feeding them also takes work. If you think you can save money by baking your own cookies, think again. After you get done buying all the ingredients, adding icing and sprinkles and buying new bell shaped cookie cutters, the power used to heat the oven, then having to do it all over again because there was a really good show on and you forgot about the cookies and they were in effect cremated, they end up costing approximately $4.67 each. Then, no one will eat them anyway and you will end up eating them all yourself and have to drop another $300 on diet pills and videos come January.
4. “See you later, plastic container…”
If you do end up having a party (and don’t claim that I didn’t warn you when you shake your fists, look to the sky and yell “WHYYYYY!”), people will no doubt have caught on to the old “bring and take” scam by now. If it was a pot luck, they learned to bring food over in paper plates wrapped in tinfoil, or those impossible-to-fit-in-the-fridge-or-garbage-can foil pans from the grocery store. They do this because they have no plastic containers --brand name left out intentionally -- and they want yours. They will exclaim that “THOSE mashed potatoes” were the best they’ve ever tasted, and could they please take home a smidgen for later. Pfff. They hated the mashed potatoes and you and they both know it. In fact, all you did was add a cup of hot water, but you are now in the position to either not take a compliment or to lose one piece of plastic. Admit you are not the best mashed potato cook in the world or say goodbye to one shining airtight container. Your choice. Of course pride will win over and you will be going through the cupboards trying to find one that has been in the dishwasher one too many times and the lid does not fit right anymore no matter how many times you push down each corner. Just as you spot the perfect imperfect piece, said crook, er, friend will see you looking and reach over your shoulder for the most brand new looking container while exclaiming “Oh, this one will be fine.”
FINE?
Is she sick?
That one is one of a three piece combo stacking pack. In fact, it’s the middle one so now the top and bottom ones will be screwed. But, you do not want to look like a schlub, so you reluctantly begin to spoon the wet flakes into your favorite container while greedyface looks on. She will probably toss the potatoes out as soon as she gets home, then gleefully dance around the room with her new plastic container. Who invited her, anyway?
